Testimonials

Correspondence between James Weis and Horace and Janet Patterson

Hi! Bless You! We need more parents showing the care and pain they missed from us as we grew up. Parents lost out in that we act out from our desperation, and for myself, I rebelled and drove fast cars, fast women, crimes.  Where else have we got to go but back to Jesus and the Truth?
 

Now, I can hardly find a job because of my past, and I carry the guilt. I know I will have to face God, I know this as I was real close to God even having the mind of God as a child, then getting him ripped from your life. I could never go back to the catholic church, as the priest was not the enemy as much as the catholic church remains the enemy. I had to leave home at 16 years old, my Mom and Dad gave up on me! They were like Adolph Hitler, now, all has changed, and we are best friends!! They and all my siblings quit the catholic church, I of course blame myself. They quit when I reported 13 years after I got molested at Wisconsin Dells, on an "Altar Boy Trip" It was a trip I never came back to my parent's!
 

 I am 43 years old and was molested after my fourth year of being an Altar Boy! I was told by the priest Fr. William Wey of the Sacred Heart Church of Dent Minnesota, that I was his best friend and that I was a natural to become a priest! I was re-victimized by the church after forcing them to send me to the Bradshaw Center to get help, 1993, while I was there after two weeks of intense Gestalt therapy, soul was open, I was very vulnerable, they took away my physical therapy, mind you this was a gentleman's agreement. Where was the gentleman? Minimizing my healing over an issue of money! Felt totally re-victimized.
 

What the Catholics forget is that when you honor Jesus in your life, you are the priest or priestess of your life. I confess straight to Jesus and God my sins. Forgiving myself of my crappy past is the hardest thing for me to do, two abortions, three illegitimate children, three dwi's, a juvenile criminal record, an adult criminal record, car accident, (back injury), unable to hold a job, much less a career. I am suppose to forgive, only for me, I ask Jesus to forgive, as I am not capable, as I have a family to think about and they look at me as less than because of my inability to financially take care of them. I think Spiritually as well! I don't go to church, I just have always told them Jesus is in our Heart's if we let them. I was always caught in between two worlds, not of man's, not of society's, but, I found God in the woods! Mother Nature, my Dog's Eyes! That is why I have lived here in Sitka since 1989. I do have a talent for photography, so, I am presently going through vocational rehabilitation program to get my own home-based photography business going. God did bless me with a kind heart and a brain. I know that it all comes from my real Father-God! I like the Idea of dying to myself! My wife has even said she wants to divorce me, I told her, I know exactly what you feel like as I want to divorce myself!!!
 

 What would Jesus do?
 

If it was a true church of God, hasn't it been commanded to go search for that lost sheep as the whole fold was worth risking to go get the lost sheep! We altar boy's and girl's, have our own fold, and our shepherd is our Messiah, Jesus Christ!!!
 

As suicidal as my life was, I survived, I still suffer, mainly because I know of so many others not coming forward.  We call ourselves survivors, we don't like victim, but, survivor for us means we will always be victims! Our only Hope is on "Our Lord Jesus Christ" and the Kingdom of God, which is Truth, that is in our Heart's! We took the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ With Us!!
 

Thank You for supporting us!

Love, Peace, Prayers!!!

 

James Weis

 

 

Dearest Janet and Horace,
 

I have a son named Eric, Now I am really sorry for you both and your family. I cried as it reminds me of myself. I was very suicidal, and like Eric, had the gun to my head, as I was squeezing the trigger, I heard this voice say, "you will kill a part of me", it scared me so much that I threw the gun. I was still suicidal in the way I lived and carried on. I know what Eric felt, as the betrayal is too great! I was this priests best friend, then I felt like I was the weakest as he singled me out. I felt God must know I am weak so I proved to everyone else how strong I was, jumping from airplanes, fast cars, diving in the ocean, every time I got close to being killed, there sure was this desire to live. Eric was much more braver than me, as, I live in my pain to this day, and I could have ended it a long time ago, I just didn't have the balls to do it! (Sorry, I have not learned the art of decent communication) I realize from reading your pain that it would not be the right thing to do. I have told the Bishop that I do not believe in religion or church, " if " you truly believe in Jesus, you are in church, and you are a priest and you can confess your sins and talk directly to God. I have to constantly say devil get behind me, (cause he sure likes working overtime in my brain if I let him), then I ask for God's spirit to come into mine, and renew my mind! I will struggle till I am with God again. I pray Eric is watching over us trying to console us in this life, till we see him in Heaven.
 

Jesus said, "Do not hurt a hair on my child's head!"
 

Like Eric, We Altar boys were first married to Jesus, no one can come between a perfect marriage as that, so Please know that Eric is watching us through the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ! I would like to communicate with you more if you wish to! It helps me to talk and I just wish I had a chance to meet Eric and talk with him. I wish I could talk with more survivors, I am sick of hiding.
 

Thank You for sharing your Heart!
 

It means the world too me!
 

You may share any of my stories as I have nothing to hide and it may help others! My will is to create a healing center for all of us! The collateral damage from this abuse is enormous, and they haven't seen the tip of the iceberg, much less how huge the poison is that is underneath it all. Why is the church so bent on its assets, and protecting them, instead of helping the people it hurt. Seems this religion is bent on false idol- "Money"!
 

The priest that molested me was not only priest, but, was a fire marshal and deputy sheriff, and he would show me his badge, like not only does he have God, he has the law, now, how is anyone that gets molested by him going to report that. I couldn't. He would drive his car fast, while reading the newspaper, take money from the collection bag, swear, drink, and he called his screening movies for the church, I remember him going to "Deep Throat". Why, Fr. Wey? The church acts innocent in it's own deception! That is what's wrong with the world today, no one wants to accept the awful deception and how bad it really is!
 

How it destroys families!
 

Like Eric, I feel dead in this life!
 

Sorry!

Jim